Cookout
by BashfulGnome
Summary: A summer barbecue at Litwak's is never without shenanigans, especially with the Core Four hosting.


Summer was winding down, and the four of them saw fit to have one last barbecue that weekend. Litwak was out of town for a couple of days–he'd figured that the usual patrons would be on vacation anyway–so they certainly weren't short on guests from neighboring games who wanted to join in on the fun. The atmosphere of Fix-It Felix Jr. buzzed with activity, from the various Nicelanders milling about to the visitors enjoying the friendly afternoon company.

Some of the troops from Hero's Duty joined the Sugar Rush racers in Niceland Lake for an impromptu game of chicken while Q*bert and the other East Nicelanders looked on. Vanellope swam around cheering on her game-mates, but occasionally split off into the weedy side of the lake, curiously observing the wildlife. Ralph hung around the shallow ends, making waves for the smaller sprites to ride, and keeping an eye out for struggling swimmers and brewing fights.

Tamora helmed the grill, clad in her "Kiss My Ass" apron–as such a crowded gathering demanded–and having set out a batch of burgers and hot dogs in neat rows. The chopmeat was a donation from Burger Time, courtesy of Peter Pepper himself, in exchange for Tamora's assistance in ejecting a rowdy patron from the establishment the week prior. The sizzling little slabs of meat created a pleasant white noise that drowned out Gene's distant blathering about the limited selection of beverages. Between the soothing sound, delicious aroma, and the focused task of minding the food's status, grilling put her in a calm state of flow.

Her husband had spent most of the morning running between the apartments and the picnic area, carrying supplies and pre-prepared food back and forth, and managing the guests who would occasionally stop in from the lake for a snack. She hadn't seen much of him while she was setting up the grill–usually just his hat peeking over a stack of paper plates with legs–but she knew where he was from the tune of his jolly whistling. To match his special lady, he'd decided to wear his own "All The Fixins" apron for the occasion. Felix was in Special Event Mode, and there was very little that would convince him to slow down.

Amidst all the activity, Vanellope scampered along the path from Niceland Lake to the picnic area. She had formulated a plan for the day and her underwater reconnaissance was complete - but there was one missing piece. This wasn't a chance that came around every day, so she'd need some special equipment. And with Felix occupied, she'd have an easier time acquiring it.

"Sarge." The child saluted, her face unusually serious.

"Prez." Tamora returned the gesture. "What's up?"

The racer glanced around the cooking area but didn't see anything immediately suitable for her mission. She'd have to stall. "Whatcha puttin' on the burgers?"

"Onion, red pepper, garlic powder, salt." Tamora counted off the ingredients. "Just exper– _MAC!_ Get the hell off him, you drown him and he won't regenerate!"

The girl followed the suddenly-yelling sergeant's line of sight to catch a glimpse of a startled Marine rolling off his panicking comrade's back and splashing into the water. Ralph, who had been in the process of separating them, gave Tamora a thumbs-up. She waved back in acknowledgement and muttered something under her breath.

"Anyway," she sighed. "Just experimenting this time. Got a request?"

Vanellope scrunched her nose and continued scanning the area. "Oh. I thought you guys were gonna use basil?" The racer recalled the small, fragrant plants she had seen in the couple's garden.

"We tried growing some out back, but Norwood's cats kept pissing on it. So that was a bust." She shrugged and pointed her spatula towards a small bag. "I got brown sugar though. That up your alley, kid?"

Vanellope spotted a spare plastic container on the picnic table behind them. _Perfect._ "Uh, yeah, sure, love it. Hey, can I borrow that empty bowl thing?"

Tamora had begun to notice Vanellope's shiftiness and raised an eyebrow, leaning over. "What for?"

The miniature president looked around before standing on her toes to reach the woman. "I wanna see if I can catch something cool in the lake," she whispered with a grin.

Well, there were no snakes in there, as far as the sergeant knew. Other than Coily on his inner tube, of course. "Yeah, I don't need it. Go nuts."

"Thanks!" She picked up the container, holding it above her head in triumph, and dashed off back to the lake before Tamora could say anything more. The sergeant laughed to herself. She was looking forward to seeing how this scheme turned out.

In the meantime, Felix surveyed the area with his hands on his hips, and let out a relieved sigh upon seeing that everything was in order. Ralph hadn't needed any help with lifeguarding, the places were all set, and a few of their neighbors had begun making their way to the tables, enticed by the scent of the pending meal. There was only one more situation to tend.

Tamora felt a light touch on the side of her leg and smiled, not needing to look down.

"Hey, Felix."

He took hold of her free hand and squeezed it gently, running his thumb over her knuckles. "Need anything, darlin'? I can get you some ice cream if you'd like."

"Standing in front of this grill, it'd be a puddle in ten seconds. But thanks for the offer, babe."

"Are you sure? You've been taking care of the burgers all afternoon. If you feel like goin' down to the lake to cool off, I can take over for you."

She glanced down from her work and saw the little guy wearing that worried puppy-dog expression of his. Of course, she thought. All the prep work, setting up the tables, keeping the guests occupied, and his most pressing concern was still making sure she wasn't mildly uncomfortable. She laughed softly.

"Don't worry about me, shortstack. I've got a rhythm going here," she replied, leaning down with a smirk. "But I'll take you up on some dessert and a swim later tonight." Tamora grinned and pulled down the brim of his hat.

He blushed at the sudden change in tone. "W-well, I guess we do both need to unwind–"

"Get it _out!_ It's biting me! GET IT **_OUT!_** "

Interrupting their moment, Ralph came stumbling towards the startled couple from the direction of the Niceland Lake, hopping from foot to foot. Vanellope followed close behind, pointing and giggling at the wrecker's predicament as he attempted to dislodge something from his swim trunks. Ralph finally grabbed the leg of his garment and shook it out, producing a large and terrified frog, which the racer scooped up before any of the adults could stop her.

"Vanellope, tha– _haha_ –t wasn't very nice," Felix sputtered out as he tried not to giggle.

Tamora, who made no such effort, paused her grilling to fully appreciate the spectacle.

"Hey, nice one Prez!" she shouted through snorting laughter. "Where'd you find a frog that can bite?"

The diminutive president was too busy laughing to respond, and it became clear that the prank was not over. As Ralph continued hopping, two small, young ducks fell out of the other side of his trunks. They flailed on their backs, quacking in annoyance as they righted themselves in a flurry of feathers. Luckily for Felix, the ducks were most concerned with distancing themselves from Ralph, and took off chasing each other towards the lake.

A loud whistle and hearty laughter rang out from the other end of the picnic area, catching everyone's attention. " _Very_ good dancing! Make DDR friends jealous!" Zangief clapped at Ralph's unintentional performance.

Ralph's face flushed, and he quickly turned back to his best friend. "Kid, you really gotta calm down with the pranks. Someone's gonna get hurt."

Tamora resumed grilling. "Yeah, if those trunks fell down we'd all be stricken blind."

" _Not_ helping, Sarge!"

Vanellope pouted. "Hey, I picked out the smallest ones for you Ralphie!"

"Vanny, believe you me, those duck bites really sting. Even the little ones, they get everywhere..." Felix shuddered.

The four of them heard a familiar grumble from one of the nearby tables.

"Ralph, I am _trying_ to enjoy this outing in peace, and I would appreciate it if you and that" – the mayor squinted at Vanellope – " _child_ could make your commotion somewhere else. _Some_ people just have no class."

Ralph and Vanellope shared a wordless exchange of a raised eyebrow and a devious grin.

"Gene, why don't you go find something fun to do instead of givin' them a hard time?" Felix had really hoped the drink selection would keep the mayor in better spirits, but to no avail. "Nobody's using the gazebo, if you want someplace quiet."

"I'm just saying that there's a certain level of propriety expected in–"

He was cut off by a quiet splat as the frog Vanellope tossed landed on his face. The Nicelander went silent for an instant before sputtering and thrashing himself out of his seat.

The wrecker high-fived his partner-in-crime and they both took off into the lakeside woods, peals of laughter ringing in their wake. Gene attempted pursuit once he had extricated himself from the poor amphibian, but thirty years on his own had made Ralph more familiar with that forest than anyone else in the game. The mustachioed man emerged after a futile couple of minutes, muttered his way back to the table, picked up his drink, and stormed off to save face.

Tamora smiled. "Guess that saves everyone some grief. He hasn't stopped complaining all day."

"I'm startin' to think that's his hobby," Felix replied sheepishly. "But he's gonna be back for dinner anyway; said somethin' about sitting with Don and Mary. I'd better go round everyone up–"

"No need." The sergeant put two fingers in her mouth and let out a shrill whistle that cut through the air to the far boundaries of the game, making Felix jump. "Food's done! Everybody come stuff your chewholes!" she hollered.

Working together, Tamora and Felix laid the cooked meat out on buns while the guests lined up. Once they got a seat at the tables, Vanellope sat on Ralph's arm, eating the chips he'd scooped out of a snack bowl on their way to the grill.

"So, satisfied? You got Gene _and_ me today."

She nodded. "I think I'm good for now."

Vanellope eyed her buddy's meal, suddenly noticing the unusual way he adorned his burger. "Ooh, what's that?"

"Mustard, pickles, and chips. Makes it crunchy. Here, you wanna try?"

"Yeah!" She took a bite of the savory burger and hummed with satisfaction. "Oh! Try a piece of mine too!" She tore off a chunk of the patty and handed it to him.

"Mmm, not b- _agh!_ Too sweet!" He chuckled took a bite of his own burger to clear out the taste. "Couldn't resist one more jab at me, huh?"

"Hey, it's an honor. Savor it." She pinched his cheek and quickly glitched away when he playfully swatted at her.

Tamora snatched the racer in midair and casually placed her back down on the picnic bench, as she and Felix finally took their seats next to the pair of friends. "To surviving another summer rush," she toasted, holding her drink aloft.

"And many more!" Felix added, the others cheering in agreement.


End file.
